ICONIC VENUE
ICONIC EVENTS
WE’RE HERE FOR A GOOD TIME…
Join us any day of the week, and get stuck into something good.
Karaoke queens can belt out a classic at all hours with private karaoke rooms, and our Arcade is in action round the clock, with machines playable from midday, and Moonshine Raceway from 1800 on weeknights, and ALL DAY weekends.
Battersea? Batter-slay.
MONDAY - 2-4-1 BURGERS, VINYL DJS
TUESDAY - THE BIG QUIFFY PUB QUIZ
WEDNESDAY - LAUGH TRAIN HOME COMEDY, VINYL DJS
THURSDAY - VINYL DJS/ JUKEBOX HEROES LIVE KARAOKE
FRIDAY & SATURDAY - MUSIC FOR THE THIEVES RESIDENT DJS
SUNDAY - LIVE BLUES, THE KID’S TABLE
ARACDE GAMES
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A whole floor dedicated to whats good and holy in vintage arcade games, from Pinball to PacMac, all card enabled so you can tappy-tap and not worry about change!
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Although at busy times, we may be one-in-one-out.
Main bar bookings are always welcome upstairs!
MOONSHINE RACEWAY
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Go head-to-head with 9 other drivers in this miniature raceway, where you're in the literal drivers seat!
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Although not essential, you can pre-book your time on the tracks HERE
PRIVATE KARAOKE ROOM
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A beautifully decorated, private room for up to 25 guests to enjoy karaoke classics, with a song library of 1000's of cult hits.
50% off SUN - THURS
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Bookable by the hour HERE with open slots also available on the day!
LAUGH TRAIN HOME
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Cracking weekly stand-up featuring known names, and emerging acts. Genuinely funny all round.
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Grab your ticket now, limited tickets may be available on the door.
THE BIG QUIFFY PUB QUIZ
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Get down with Boogaloo and his high-energy pub quiz, featuring general knowledge, music and picture rounds, a creative challenge, and unexpectedly more shots than you'd imagine being passed around on a Tuesday night!
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Bookings HERE, but not essential. £2.50 per player, with a max team size of 6 you can play as a larger team, but we'll deduct some points!
JUKEBOX HEROES
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Live your stadium fantasy in the comfort of your Battersea local. Pick your favourite tune, and have our band do the rest.
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Book HERE if you wish, or just roll up on the day, the more the merrier!
SOUNDS FAMILIAR MUSIC QUIZ
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Sounds Familiar is more than just a Music Quiz, it’s the perfect combination of your favourite playlist and the best party you’ve ever been to.
Expect rounds stuffed full of Chart Classics, Old Skool Anthems, Indie Bangers, marvellous Mash-Ups, Power Ballads, Guilty Pleasures and over 100 killer tunes from the 60s to the current day, all wrapped up in one epic Quiz.
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Booking essential for this special event! Book HERE
Team Tickets from 2 to large groups of 50 available, but hurry – our events sell out quickly.
NEON NAKED BEETLEJUICE SPECIAL
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Step into a world where the strange and unusual meet vibrant creativity. Inspired by the ghost with the most, this Halloween special invites you to “shake, shake, shake, Señora” as you bring eerie, UV-lit models to life using reactive art materials.
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In this class, you'll delve into the world of colour, light, and texture through a series of short poses ranging from 6 to 10 minutes.
Art supplies are provided with essentials like pencils, paper, and drawing boards, as well as fluorescent neon pastels and highlighters to make your artwork pop!
CHEAPER THAN THERAPY: POETRY WORKSHOP & SOCIAL
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Join us for an evening of creativity and connection at The Four Thieves, near Clapham Junction. Whether you're an experienced poet or you've never put pen to paper, this is an inclusive space to spark new ideas and meet like-minded creatives.
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What's the set up?
Expect engaging prompts, unorthodox writing exercises, discussion about contemporary poetry and an opportunity for feedback on your work. If you already have a poem you'd like to share and workshop, please bring 5 printed copies along with you.
6:30-6:45pm - welcome and time to grab a drink
6:45-7:45pm - reading, discussion and writing activity
7:45-8:00pm - break
8:00-9:00pm - writing activity, workshopping and sharing
SUNDAY BLUES
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A weekly dose of live blues from a talented array of artists, including Dust Me Down Blues Duo, Manny Fizzotti and John Drain
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Book your table in the main bar to enjoy our weekly blues sessions.
CHAMPERS & PAMPERS
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Lauching October 7th, Legs Body Finish offer London's best parent & baby wine tasting.
Sip (and spit if you wish) a variety of global wines, with a new theme each month.
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Booking strongly advised as this is a small group occasion.
Changing facilities on site, and ample space for pram parking and sleeping babes too.
Book HERE
NEON NAKED HALLOWEEN BINGO SPECIAL
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Join us for Halloween Neon Naked Bingo, where eerie neon costumes and UV-lit thrills collide for a night of spine-tingling excitement and creative chaos!
Enjoy UV life drawing, bingo plus face painting opportunity.
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Booking essential for this special event! Book HERE
9 PM : Doors open with face painting and eerie glowing walkabouts!
9:30 PM - 10 PM : Bingo Game #1 – Get your daubers ready for fang-tastic wins!
10:15 PM - 10:45 PM : Life Drawing – Sketch spooky models in UV light.
11 PM - 11:30 PM : Bingo Game #2 – More chances to win and get wicked!
BARK PRESENTS: THE XAVIERS, MADELINE THORPE & MAR
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A fantastic lineup at The Four Thieves, fusing elements of folk, indie and americana. Join us for The Xaviers, Madeline Thorp and MAR. It's a pay what you want gig, on the night.
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Grab a FREE ticket HERE
This event is over 18's
BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER HALLOWEEN THEME PARTY
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Celebrating all things Halloween AND Massive Arms Events 6th Birthday!!
Stake-yourself something good, with tunes coming from the likes of:
Blink-182 / Bif Naked / Four Star Mary / Hole / Nerf Herder / No Doubt / The Offspring, as well as Michelle Branch and the REST IN PEACE ON REPEAT.
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FREE TICKETS HERE
SOUNDS FAMILIAR MUSIC QUIZ: CHRISTMAS PARTY
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Sounds Familiar is more than just a Music Quiz, it’s the perfect combination of your favourite playlist and the best party you’ve ever been to.
Expect rounds stuffed full of Chart Classics, Old Skool Anthems, Indie Bangers, marvellous Mash-Ups, Power Ballads, Guilty Pleasures and over 100 killer tunes from the 60s to the current day, all wrapped up in one epic Quiz.
-
CHEAPER THAN THERAPY: POETRY WORKSHOP & SOCIAL
-
Join us for an evening of creativity and connection at The Four Thieves, near Clapham Junction. Whether you're an experienced poet or you've never put pen to paper, this is an inclusive space to spark new ideas and meet like-minded creatives.
-
What's the set up?
Expect engaging prompts, unorthodox writing exercises, discussion about contemporary poetry and an opportunity for feedback on your work. If you already have a poem you'd like to share and workshop, please bring 5 printed copies along with you.
6:30-6:45pm - welcome and time to grab a drink
6:45-7:45pm - reading, discussion and writing activity
7:45-8:00pm - break
8:00-9:00pm - writing activity, workshopping and sharing